OUT OF THE DARKNESS INTO THE LIGHT • 12-20-2007   I posted this entry in my blog last year. For whatever reasons, I feel motivated to repost it this year, too. ----- This time of year, the daylight hours in the northern hemisphere are fewer in number compared to the nighttime hours, a phenomenon that will continue until the Winter Solstice. In 2007, the Winter Solstice falls on December 22nd, at 1:08 AM EST (6:08 AM GMT). After that, those of us above the equator will begin to see a slow shift towards more daylight and less darkness until the Summer Solstice arrives in June. During this darkest time of year, many people decorate their houses with pretty lights. I love the darkness — it is peaceful & mysterious, comforting & enfolding like a womb, giving seeds and ideas the possibility of germinating. However, I love pretty lights, too! Many people associate the lights with religious traditions rather than the original intent of merely "brightening the dark time of the year with a little cheer." We do not observe any holiday in our household this time of year, other than my quiet acknowledgment of the arrival of the Solstice. We prefer a year-round celebration of the Light of the human soul, illuminating the darkness of our being. In our happy home, there are no trees, no stockings, no gifts, nor are there any dreidels spinning, no menorrah being lit. He is a Bright, and I am a Buddhist. Both of us were born into homes that strictly followed religious observances, but both of us believe that following one's heart is more important than following the herd. There is awesome power and beauty to stand as a wild creature on the mountain precipice and look down upon the gleaming valley below. All year long, I try to hold as much love in my heart as I can for myself and for other human beings. I believed in recycling things before it was considered fashionable. I respect Mother Earth, and believe in treating everything with respect and acting with personal accountability. I believe in the beauty and power of the human soul, and I believe in a connectedness to All Things that exists as the Universal Consciousness, that thing I call "Goddess." I do not believe there is an actual "Being" that needs to lift us, pitifully, out of our wallow in misery. We need to lift ourselves. We can do it, We have the Power. My partner's beliefs are different than mine, but are similar and harmonize with mine. For those that see the light, we wish you cheer. For those that feel the darkness, we wish you cheer. For those that are lifting themselves, we wish you cheer. For those that are waiting to be lifted, we wish you cheer. Whatever your beliefs, whatever your path, know that We wish you cheer... and peace. © 2007 FairyWoman.com RATHER ODD • 11-28-2007 Something feels rather odd about a Buddhist decoracting a Christmas tree in a business establishment managed by Hindu folks. The first of our clientele to see said tree after it was decorated was Muslim. Too weird.       © 2007 FairyWoman.com EPHEMERIS • 11-27-2007 Someone asked me a couple of questions about an ephemeris. Here's the poop... An ephemeris is a table that shows the positions of the plaets and other celestial bodies. It is usually organized in a day-to-day format with the positions shown for noon (12h) Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). By the way, GMT is sometimes called "Universal Time" (UT). An example of an ephemeris is shown, below: In the example, the Sun is positioned at 16°30'51" in the sign of Sagittarius . The Moon is shown as being located at position 8°23' of the sign Sagittarius . An excellent ephemeris may be otained online — free for personal use — at AstoDienst. Hardcopies of several ephemerides may also be purchased at most bookstores in the "Astronomy" section for $10 or under. Please note that positions given for celestial bodies might differ slightly from ephemeris to ephemeris. Differences could be a result of the different algorithms being used to calculate the position of the objects, or it could be that one ephemeris is showing astronomical positions rather than astological positions (see "Precession of the Equinoxes" for an explanation). I R TEH GEEKETTE   © 2007 FairyWoman.com SPINNING • 11-26-2007 My head is spinning, but I think [hope] it will stop soon. The past few weeks/months have felt like an absolute blur. At first I was pulling 7-days-per-week at work with rotating shifts a few 12-16 hour days and only a day-or-two off here-and-there. Then, suddenly the business slows-down to a crawl and my hours have been cut back. WTF?!?!? All through it, days blended together and I actually had to look at the calendar to see what day of the week it was. There was also mad, scurrying to build a new winter wardrobe after losing so much weight that my old winter clothes would not fit, dealing with car troubles (His as well as mine), coaxing the old washing machine through its final death throes, switching cell phone providers and getting the new service established, tweaking my diet again to bring my cholesterol back within range (yes, again, dammit), trying to obtain assistance to get my prescription meds ordered (they ran out months ago and I couldn't afford to get them refilled), and dealing with a multitude of other little things that life throws in one's path. So, yeah, my head has been spinning. Some of the things are finally falling into place. We don't have a new washing machine yet because of financial constraints, but we have worked-out an equitable routine for getting the laundry done until we can get a replacement. Some of my meds are on the way at a discount, finally, and it looks like the others might be available within another month or two. The major repairs to the cars seem to finally be over, with only small tweaks remaining. And I now have clothes to wear that fit, thanks to some recent sales and perusals of the "clearance" racks at a few shops. With hours cut-back, I will now begin to have some regular time-off to chill, catch up on things, and hopefully be able to feel "normal" again. w00t! ...if feeling "normal" is even an option for a psychochick like me... © 2007 FairyWoman.com CUT BACK • 11-21-2007 We are into a "slow season" at work, which the manager says happens every year. They don't expect the situation to improve until at least February. The business has been more solvent in the past, however, so weathering-out the slow season wasn't such a big deal then as it is now. As a result of the slow-down, my hours have been cut. At least I still have a job — a more senior employee was laid-off and is now looking for other work.  The reason I, a more junior employee, was spared instead of her? I am the crazy chick who (1) does not mind at all working the "dreaded" Night Shift, and (2) I make much less than she does, so cutting her salary from the budget is making more of an impact than cutting mine. It will be much harder to stretch the few dollars I make, but at least I am not in the unemployment line. I feel very sad for the woman who lost her job and hope she is able to find another job quickly. She has some good "marketable" skills and I could see her doing several different types of jobs with ease. I'm going to miss seeing her at work, but at least she doesn't mind staying in touch with each other — yay! © 2007 FairyWoman.com GOT WIRELESS-WEB? • 11-20-2007 I like looking at the moon & I found some ringtones I wanted to share. If you can do wireless-Web on your phone, go to http://isbet.net/wap.html to see the current moon phase or download the ringtones! It is my own page & it is FREE! Leave a comment if you like the page and I might add to it. Enjoy!     © 2007 FairyWoman.com NEW PHONE, CARRIER, & NUMBER • 10-09-2007 After eight years, I have decided to leave Sprint PCS as my cell phone carrier. Several factors came into play with this decision. Their service — strength of signal, coverage area, etc. — has always been excellent, and still is. When I moved from Florida to Tennessee, however, I had to give up my abilities to send/receive text messages and surf the "wireless Web." I never fully understood their rationale, especially the bit about the "wireless Web" because I could always access it easily with my phone (although Sprint makes it cost prohibitive to do so if one lives in northeastern Tennessee). Since I had been with them for so long and always received good coverage no matter where I traveled, however, I was reluctant to test-drive a new carrier that might not be as good. So, I bit the proverbial bullet regarding texting/surfing with my phone and went on about life. When my contract ended with Sprint, I expected them to flood my mailbox with offers for new plans and levels of service. I got one offer and never heard from them again. Visiting their Web site revealed nothing special in the way of incentives for customers who had been with them for eight years. The option became available for me to "piggyback" a phone onto my sister-in-law's plan with SunCom. With that plan, I get a new phone, gain "free minutes" on a 24/7 basis (instead of just "nights & weekends" as offered by Sprint), regain text-messaging capability, and regain the ability to surf the Web with my phone. Yay! The only downside is not getting to pick-out my own phone. SunCom only offers a limited number of "piggybacks" per plan, and the only reason I am able to piggyback now is because someone else who was piggybacked onto my sister-in-law's plan is bailing out. As such, I am taking over their phone as mine; otherwise, I could have picked-out my own phone. They had an LG-225, which is probably not the one I would have picked if I could have had the choice. But hey, it is a fairly new phone with very little use. I just have no idea if it is a good phone or not. We shall see. Along with the new carrier, phone, and plan, I get a shiny new number to go along with it because I didn't want to bother porting my old phone number between carriers. I will be sending out emails in the near future when the deal is done, the number is "live," and the phone in my hot little hand. The new number will be posted on my "Contact Information" page (under the "About Me" item on this site), or you can always send me a quick email if I don't send one to you in a timely manner. Gifts of jewelry, cute shoes, candy, or flowers will get the number to you faster, of course. © 2007 FairyWoman.com IMPERMANENCE • 10-09-2007 Someone died at work last night. She must have been about my age, based on the looks of her son when he came to pick up her personal effects. Even though she and I had never met, I still felt the sadness and shock all night. I think perhaps the worst part of it is that she was alone when it happened.     © 2007 FairyWoman.com BREASTS! YAY! • 10-05-2007 · B· R· E· A· S· T· S· Who doesn't like 'em...? Who wants to keep 'em...? October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Decorate a pair of boobies with a pink ribbon! (...after you've done a proper breast exam, of course...) Then, click here Kthnx © 2007 FairyWoman.com GO DEEP INTO THE DARKNESS • 10-03-2007 "...if you continually count the leaves and the flowers and the fruits and never go deep into the darkness of the earth, you will never understand the tree because the tree is in the roots."  -Osho       © 2007 FairyWoman.com 'NOTHER UPDATE • 09-25-2007 I had a weird — but good — birthday! When I got off work that morning, I had a nice brunch with my sweetie. Then, I played around online for a bit while my cake baked, went shopping at one of the local bookstores, got my nails done, had a wonderful seafood dinner, and then caught some sleep before having to go back into work that night. All of that, plus the wonderful wishes here made for a lovely day! A couple of days later, I finally got to take a day off from work. Caught up on some computer time, play time, sleep, and lovin' — not necessarily in that order! Also had a most yummiful dinner out with Him at a local Italian restaurant. Yay! His car is still in the shop, and we're sharing mine. © 2007 FairyWoman.com UPDATE ON THINGS • 09-18-2007 Job still going well. Worked two 8-hour shifts, back-to-back, this past weekend so someone else could have the afternoon off. Still working 7-days-per-week as they collect applications and interview people. Overtime pay is nice. Just wish my pay-rate were better. His car is in the shop — AGAIN. We're sharing my little car. Last week, the driver's window in my car rolled down and then would not roll back up. Having to drive everywhere with the frikking window down. Even when the temperatures are in the low-50s at night. Even when it is raining. Part had to be ordered, and arrived yesterday. Waiting for mechanic to have time to work on it. Moved this site recently from Netidentity's servers to GoDaddy's servers. Their hosting and tech support rawk. The nip of oncoming autumn is definitely in the air. I hate winter. I talk too much. Way too much. Got to work on that. That's all. © 2007 FairyWoman.com HANDLING THE JOB • 08-28-2007 In my last blog entry, I said: "The new girl at work is never going to make it if she does not abandon her narrow-minded thinking about how to solve a problem." I am not sure if she began to doubt that she could handle the job, whether the longish commute she had was getting to her, or whether something else was a motive, but she called the property manager this weekend and quit. So, after just a month of having her on-board, we are back to square-one in getting another member for the team. Since I know scheduling personnel will be difficult (and since the extra money would be nice), I told the property manager that I would be willing to work seven-days-a-week again until we could find someone else to hire. It will be interesting to see what happens. © 2007 FairyWoman.com DAMMIT • 08-22-2007 Most of the blog entries I make are for me, not for anyone else, to get something out that I feel needs to be said. I realize that my public entries are sometimes read by others, so this entry is for anyone reading that might give a poopie. If nobody gives a poopie, then whatever. Been busy, super busy, even on the few days-off I've had. Finally got nails done, thank goodness. New clothes, on sale, yay! It is so nice to be in "small" and "medium" again in most things, with only a smattering of "large" here and there. I have so many "big-girl" clothes that don't fit any more. Yay! Still sharing my car, as His remains in the shop. Expert mechanic is stumped. Effing technology. Dammit. Had to take a cab to work tonight. All of first hour's pay and part of second hour's pay went to make-up for the cab fare getting there. Dammit. Most of the time, I eat right and take care of myself. I seldom get sick. However, my boss got sick. Spread germs around the workplace. Now I am sick, too, dammit, but I can't take any time off because I haven't been there long enough and... This coming weekend is our busiest weekend of the entire year. I dread the next few days at work. Effing party animals. Dammit. The new girl at work is never going to make it if she does not abandon her narrow-minded thinking about how to solve a problem. Then I will be working seven-days each week again until we find someone else. Dammit. And speaking of narrow-minded thinking... I love you, Mom, but eff religion and the narrow-minded thinking that goes with it. Effing religion. Dammit. The only thing possibly worse than religion is politics. Effing politics. Effing lies told by effing self-serving politicians. Dammit. I ate too many cookies. I don't giveashit. My head is spinning. I need an aspirin and a foot-rub. Dammit. Whatever. © 2007 FairyWoman.com STREAMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS • 08-20-2007 streams of consciousness doodles and words flashes of lucidity and creativity burst forth between the shadows of the ordinary. which is more real? the steadfast? or the exceptional? © 2007 FairyWoman.com 15 MINUTES COULD SAVE YOU 15% OR MORE • 08-14-2007 They weren't joking. With impressive speed, the GEICO web site gave me a quote that was HALF what I have been paying to Allstate for car insurance and I have MORE coverage than before! The GEICO gecko knows what he is talking about. w00t! He is a cutie, too!   I the gecko!   © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Marcie            OMG Kitty! Thank you so much for posting this.            I just went online just to see if I could save any money. And OMG i'm saving 1000.00 a year.            I cancelled my other policy just now and went with Geico. It will cut my insurance premium            in HALF. Have i ever told you how much i lovety you????            *huggles n grope*            BINDI • 08-07-2007 smudge teardrop the yoni of my mind creating... scarlett? vermillion? pink! glittering chakra my Third Eye adorned with its dressing my bindi it's a spiritual thing © 2007 FairyWoman.com Night Shift • 08-06-2007 I love working the Night Shift. Except when there is a cute pair of shoes on sale at the Mall for half price and the frikking stores don't open until 10am. Or it is time to get my nails done and the frikking nail salon doesn't open until 10am. Usually, I can force myself to stay up long enough for those places to finally open their doors, but then I am too tired to really enjoy the experience of shopping and it's more like a "chore" than a "pleasure." For those of you on Day Shift, imagine the Mall opening it's doors for business at 10pm or 11pm, and you will realize what I mean. But this week, even that is out of the question — His car is in the shop and we are sharing my little car. By the time the Mall or Nail Salon opens, He will already be whipping my ride towards His own workplace. Poopie. © 2007 FairyWoman.com ALMANDINE • 08-05-2007 Blood of Isis congealed solidified into a stone gleaming deepest, darkest red almost black but not quite icositetrahedron behold the garnet! © 2007 FairyWoman.com FIRE AT WORK • 08-03-2007 There was a fire at work last night. Thankfully, everyone made it out safely and no one was injured in the least. The fire erupted in a stairwell on one end of the building, so it was relatively contained and isolated. The sprinkler system kicked into gear and probably had the fire itself put out long before the firemen arrived. The hallways on that end of the building were flooded from the accumulating water and clouds of black smoke were pouring out of one of the windows in the stairwell. The damage to the building was minimal — fortunately — although it will still cost quite a bit to vacuum the water out of the carpet on all floors, repair part of the ceiling on one level where the weight of the water burst through the second floor to the ground floor, replace one huge window in the stairwell that the firemen broke to clear the smoke, and so forth. As luck would have it, our busiest weekend of the entire year falls three weeks from today. I don't know yet how that is going to affect the business or whether all the repairs can be made in time. © 2007 FairyWoman.com DAY OFF! • 07-30-2007 I finally got a day off of work again! Yay! With a whole day at my disposal, I decided to tackle the job of switching this site to a teal/aqua background rather than the brownish-color background that it had been sporting since the last major redesign. I like the aqua much better and an occasional change is good once-in-a-while. While looking through my site, if any of you loyal readers happen to notice something I forgot to change, please let me know! © 2007 FairyWoman.com DAYLIGHT COMIN', ME WAN' GO HOME • 07-24-2007 One of the girls at work quit back at the beginning of July. She was the one who worked the night shift, and I was asked to take her place. I don't mind the night shift at all — hey, I am a Night Owl at heart — and it is great that I am now on a regular, straight shift rather than doing the crazy rotation of shifts that I had been working so far. Furthermore, since her quitting put us one woman short on the team, I offered to fill-in the deficit until someone else could be interviewed and hired. So, I've been working 7 days a week for the past 3-ish weeks. Since I am now working as an hourly employee for the first time in 27 years, I am actually getting overtime pay for part of the week! That rocks! Of course, my pay rate is minimum wage, (the first job I've had since High School that pays so little) so even with 56 hours-per-week the paychecks are not the best in the world. As a couple of my friends keep reminding me, it is more than I was making when I was unemployed. Last night, my manager asked me to start training a new employee that was hired for our team. It looks as if I might actually start having a day (or two) off each week again! Yay! © 2007 FairyWoman.com IF I COULD... • 07-09-2007 If I could... I would run to the horizon and touch the Moon as She rises Slender crescent arising from the depths of the Night Slender crescent arising from the depths of my heart If I could... I would caress Her face with my gentle hand like a babe touches her mother's face soft skin on soft skin glow upon glow curve of my fingers framing the curve of Her face cradling Her as She has cradled me If I could... © 2007 FairyWoman.com TOO TIRED TO SLEEP • 07-05-2007 Ever been "too tired to sleep?" That's where I am now, and have been quite a bit lately. I went to bed a while ago, almost exactly 12 hours from the time I have to leave for work again. I figured I could sleep seven or eight hours, then get up to shower, fix my husband's supper, eat together, do the dishes, and get out the door. Instead, I sleep a scant two hours and then pop wide-awake. I've been up two hours now, and only have about four hours left before I have to be back up and in the shower with something simmering on the stove. "Too tired to sleep" sucks. Dammit. © 2007 FairyWoman.com 10... 12... OMG! • 07-03-2007 Last year, those of you who follow my blog regularly know that I lost quite a bit of weight. Over the winter, however, I could not bring myself to brave the cold weather to continue my walks around the neighborhood, so yoga was my only exercise during the cold months. Sadly, I re-gained about five of the pounds that I had lost last year. Now, that extra five pounds is still there, mind you, right at my waistline. However, something is happening because I am fitting into even smaller clothes than I was able to wear after losing the weight last year! I just got home from TJ Maxx, where I bought a pair of denim capri pants and a denim skirt. The capri pants are a size 12 and they fit like a dream. Yeppers, size 12! I had to get a size 10 in the skirt because a size 12 was falling off me, even buttoned! I haven't worn clothes this small since high school! Whoo hooo! How this is possible with that extra five pounds and still a little "poochiness" in my tummy, I have no clue. I guess my body is redistributing something, somewhere. I refuse to look a frikkin' gift horse in the mouth, though, and will wear my new size-10 and size-12 clothes with a big smile on my face! © 2007 FairyWoman.com QUITE FRANKLY, MY DEAR • 06-28-2007 There's water in the air. I can feel it. Having been born a Southern Belle and lived in the Deep South all my life, I am accustomed to the high humidity that hangs over much of the South in the summer. The heat can have an almost oppressive feel to it with all that humidity behind it. The trick is to yield to it, to go with it, to bask in it. I went into a store the other day and their air conditioner was cranked so high that I had goosebumps on my arms and legs. I almost wished I had brought a sweater into the store with me. When I went back outside, it was a relief to be enveloped in the warmth again. I got into my car, which felt like a sauna after having been closed-up in the direct sunlight while I was in the store. I closed the door to the car and just sat there, feeling the heat penetrating my skin and warming my heart as much as my body. Yeah, there's water in the air, more than is usual this time of year. I can feel it. Hell, I can see it, hanging like a haze all around me, enveloping everything in a dense, moist wrapper. I love the South, but I thank the Goddess that I don't have to wear a hoop-skirt and petticoats as I am transported back to my Tara, as did my foremothers. © 2007 FairyWoman.com THE GIRL WITH NO NAME • 06-15-2007 The girl with no name was bumped and pushed down the hallway by the throng of other children. She was like a fragile leaf, moved more by their motions than by motion of her own. There were moments when it was difficult to maintain her balance or keep hold of the stack of books in her arms. A small trickle of children came down the hallway on the other side, going the other direction. There were other girls, much like her, but with pretty faces. Many of their faces wore smiles, a few sad ones emerged here-and-there, and some wore emotionless expressions. There were boys, too, in the stream of faces. A few of them were laughing as they talked to each other in loud tones, some had tough-guy "don't mess with me" looks, and a few had emotionless expressions like some of the girls wore. All of the children seemed to have names, except for the one girl that was being swept along. She wished she had a name, too. "One day," she hoped, "maybe I will have a name and then others can talk to me." As she watched the other children flow past her, she could not help but notice that none turned to look her way. She felt so alone. Actually, the other children could not see her at all. Besides having no name, she had no face, either. © 2007 FairyWoman.com TWILIGHT ALIVE 2007 • 06-14-2007 Our city started the free, outdoor concerts again a couple of weeks ago but we've both been working and weren't able to attend the first two of them. Today, though, both of us got off work early! He specifically requested a couple of hours time-off that He had accrued. I was only filling-in for someone for a while today and they returned earlier than originally expected. Excited that we could actually make it this week, we rushed downtown, and joined the crowd with our collapsible chairs slung over our shoulders. We watched some gray clouds in the distance, warily, as the sound-crew setup the stage and tweaked the levels on the equipment. They were almost finished when the clouds moved overhead and a light rain began to fall. Quite a few of the crowd merely opened umbrellas but stayed rooted in their chairs, so we did the same. After a while, the rain did not seem to be letting up (even though the sound-crew was still setting up the covered state, undaunted by the rain) so we hoofed our wet, cold, & hungry bodies back to the car to go in search of a warm, dry spot with food. We ended up at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants and had a wonderful meal, our first meal-out in several weeks due to our conflicting schedules. After dinner, we drove back by the barricaded street where the concert was to be held. The rain had stopped and one of the featured musicians was playing! Yay! We enjoyed a couple of her songs immensely, and then another act joined her on stage. Their music was a little too heavy on the religious messaging, though. We both decided to leave before we burst into flames. At least we were able to have a good dinner (which I didn't have to cook!) and spend some quality time together! --- Last night at work, I saw the person whom I thought made the phone calls. I felt nothing from her. Dammit. I seriously doubt that she is *that* good. Now I don't know what to think. Phuqueit. Perhaps it was that young couple, after all. © 2007 FairyWoman.com RETURN OF THE HOMEMADE PIZZA • 06-07-2007 After losing so much weight and lowering my cholesterol last year, I was looking for a new recipe for homemade pizza dough that uses whole wheat flour instead of evyl, bad-for-your-health, plain white flour like my old recipe used. I found one and it was "okay" when I made my first pizza with it, but I knew I could tweak the recipe and make it better. My husband (and our friend Asilinn, who was visiting us at the time) thought it was good as it was and didn't see how I could possibly improve upon the pizza dough — but I did it! Bwahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa! It is much better now than it was! Since I also make my own sauce from scratch, I can easily control how much sodium, fat, and carbs are in the pizzas. When I add pepperoni, I only buy turkey pepperoni (it tastes basically the same with much less fat) and all the other ingredients are chopped fresh (except for the mushrooms, which are canned, but rinsed to remove most of the salt). So, we are back to homemade pizzas, but healthier ones now! Yay! © 2007 FairyWoman.com SNUGGLE TIME • 06-06-2007 Our schedules are so crazy that He and I haven't seen much of each other lately. He is often asleep by the time I get home from work. I get a little something to eat, unwind in front of the computer for a bit, and then head to bed to snuggle next to Him and sleep. I am still in dreamland when He gets up and leaves for work, so He isn't here when I get up and get ready for work. Then He is usually asleep by the time I get home, and so on. Our "days off" sometimes fall differently each week, too, which makes it harder to see each other. It's hard to get accustomed to this. At least the "snuggle time" is good, even if we are asleep! © 2007 FairyWoman.com IN LABOR • 06-05-2007 My neck and shoulders have been killing me for the past four or five days. My feet and legs ache every night. Tonight, for the first time, my lower back is hurting a twinge, too. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for this job! But why couldn't I have landed an office job like I've had for the past 27 years...??? I'm used to sitting at desks and conference tables to do most of my work, which has ranged from answering phones to managing projects/people to managing the entire frikking office. Hopefully, I will become acclimated to the physical labor before it kills me. Standing/walking for most of the shift, and doing all the bending/lifting, is the pits. If I were still in my 20s or 30s, it wouldn't be any sweat at all, but to suddenly be thrown into a position such as this is taking its toll on my 50-something-year-old body! What I would give right now for a good massage or a shoulder-rub... *sigh* © 2007 FairyWoman.com 153. Blame • 06-03-2007 "It is... a mistake to lose self-esteem simply because you have some flaws. Looking at your shortcomings and taking steps to eliminate them should be viewed as a dispassionate project. You are not worthless because you undertake to rise above your faults. That description is only for those who never attempt to perfect themselves. We all have a perfect core, a special self inside. That purity is perfect and holy; therefore, no one is worse than another." © 2007 FairyWoman.com 152. Sleep • 06-01-2007 "Sleep is like a swift train Plunging into long black tunnels, Slicing day with red and black light. No worry about the skeleton engineer. Head to pillow is like head to track, Listening to the rumble of destiny, Knowing that the opening will come. In sleep, as in the tunnels, The sound seems ever closer." -Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao: Daily Meditations © 2007 FairyWoman.com SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A 9mm, WHATEVER THAT IS... • 05-31-2007 So. I found out tonight that there was a robbery a couple of nights ago at the place where I work. I had just finished my shift three or four hours before it happened, so another girl was on duty rather than me. I don't have all the details yet, just the most sketchy bit of information about it. Still, it made me wonder how it would affect me if I had been on duty at the time. It could happen any time, really, especially with the hours that I work on the weekends. I feel sure that I would cooperate with them, especially if they were armed (as they were this past weekend), rather than risk some stupid "heroic" action. I may be blonde, but I am not stupid. I know how to trigger the "silent alarm" without anyone's seeing me do it. I have always been blessed to be cool-headed and calm during a crisis. If I am going to break down, it will definitely be afterwards, not during. That's what happened to Anna, too. After the police took their report and left, the manager offered to let her go home early, but she stoically declined and finished her shift. Hours later, as she tucked herself into bed, is when the full "Oh, shit!" moment of realization hit her and she had trouble sleeping. When it comes to some things, I am soft-hearted, sensitive, and nurturing to the point of being self-effacing. When it comes to other things, though, I can be a hard-hearted, callous bitch. It all depends on the circumstances. I've learned over the years — the hard way — that sometimes one must be thick-skinned and tough in order to survive. I wonder which side of my personality would come out when the loaded pistol was no longer pointed at me ...the little girl who bursts into tears? ...or the "nail-their-balls-to-the-wall" bitch? ...and I wonder if I could mark "Gun Play" off my checklist... hmmm... ----- For those of you who know my parents, please do not mention this entry to them. They (especially Mom) will worry, needlessly, as you well know. ----- © 2007 FairyWoman.com 151. ACTUAL • 05-30-2007 "What we do only has meaning in the here and now. It will not remain in the next instant. Just do what you can for the present, and leave everything else to happen naturally. Work. Wash. Meditate. Eat. Study. Urinate. Sleep. Exercise. Talk. Listen. Touch. Die each night. Be born again each morning." -Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao: Daily Meditations © 2007 FairyWoman.com AQUA DREAMS • 05-27-2007 There are times when it becomes necessary to force a split from "reality" in order to survive. During those times, another "reality" is often discovered, perhaps more viable — and "real" — than the first. During nights punctuated with sparks of lucidity, aqua dreams can emerge. "For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation will suffice." © 2007 FairyWoman.com CHILL OF NIGHT • 05-24-2007 dance dance by the ocean i dance shifting sand under my feet until night falls blackness rolls in like fog billowing blackness obscuring my eyes glints of fire fading in my eyes glints of fire the twilight fades my veil has dropped my skirt has fallen darkness has come i am all that remains will i survive the chill of night? © 2007 FairyWoman.com THE RIVER • 05-10-2007 thousands of trickles flow together to form streams and rivers thousands of trickles flowing together but still different so, what is a river? thousands of variables thousands of thoughts thousands of feelings... don't get washed away © 2007 FairyWoman.com EMERGENCE • 05-07-2007 I emerged from the Earth, whole... I emerged from my Mother, whole... I emerged, Fire and Water, whole... I emerged Earth and Air, whole... I emerged Breath of Spirit, whole... I emerged Goddess, whole... I perform the Ritual of Life, whole... I perform the Ritual of Death, whole... All is as it should be. © 2007 FairyWoman.com SACRED GEOMETRY • 05-02-2007 stream of consciousness comes in the form of images pictures, patterns, colors lines swirling, branching, arching doubling back on themselves euclidean shapes — the gamut of simple, complex, profound, laughable mirth merkabah mirthkabah welcome to the casbah © 2007 FairyWoman.com TOGETHERNESS • 05-02-2007 from the womb of my mind i pluck a thought that grew as a flower that started as a seed a twinkle in my husband's eye © 2007 FairyWoman.com I HAVE A JOB! • 05-02-2007 I've been job-hunting for a while and the job market in my area is very rough. There are too few jobs for the number of people in this area and every place I have applied has had a flood of applicants wanting the one or two positions that are available. After months of searching, sending résumés, going to job interviews, and following up afterwards, I was hired at a local hotel! My position is working the Front Desk checking guests in/out, attending to their needs, answering the phones, keeping the lobby area clean & tidy, and so forth. The pay is only minimum wage, but allows one perk that I've never had at any other job in my 30+ years in the workforce — occasional downtime when everything is caught-up (i.e., no phones ringing, no guests waiting, peripheral tasks done) to sit and read, sew, or whatever else I wish to do. At every other job I've had in the past, there has always been something else to do and I never had any real "downtime," so this is pretty cool. The really sucky part about it all is that I am currently on Second Shift (3pm-11pm) and will have to miss all the local Drum Circles for the forseeable future. But, at least I have a job now! Whoo hooo!   © 2007 FairyWoman.com WARMTH • 04-29-2007 between the lines between the lions Bast and Sekhmet red and yellow glowing orbs brilliant power give us warmth in this bright hour! © 2007 FairyWoman.com FOR A WOMAN MY AGE... • 04-14-2007 I was never "beauty queen" material; my phsycial appearance has always been average, nothing more. My mother often tells me I am pretty, but many mothers tell their daughters that (even if we have a zit the size of Kansas on our nose). Although I was never drop-dead gorgeous, there was a time that I could turn heads in a bikini. Age takes its toll, though. Dammit. As I wander through Tribe.net, MySpace.com, and other Internet sites looking for cool music and such, I find photos of many pretty girls and the green-eyed monster we call "Jealousy" rears its ugly head. But then I think about it — my gosh, I am old-enough to be the mother of many of these cuties, seriously! If you think I am joking, I can furnish proof that my own child celebrated his 27th birthday last year. So, yeah, even though I don't have the prettiest face, the thickest hair, or the most slender body, I don't think I look that bad for a woman who will be 52 years old in September. I lost a bunch of weight last year and I'm losing some this year, too. I do yoga, walk in my neighborhood, and stay reasonably healthy for someone my age. Besides, my man finds me attractive and that is what really counts. So there! © 2007 FairyWoman.com YOU HAD TO BE THERE • 04-07-2007 On this day, C and D came to visit V and K. They brought VW, TU, and the gift of a C from CM. I was shocked! *cough* A smashing good time was had by all. It was good. Very good. The end. © 2007 FairyWoman.com A SPRING IN MY STEP • 04-02-2007 I have soooooooo been waiting for spring to arrive again, as those of you who follow my blog are aware. I think it has finally arrived! Yay! Temperatures warmed into the upper 60s and low 70s about three weeks ago, but then the weather turned cold again one night and stayed that way for several days. Apparently, that was only winter's last, "Hurrah!" and the temperatures have been slowly climbing since then without backing down again. The past week, the highs have been in the 70s during the day and only dipping down at night into the upper 40s or lower 50s. There are green sprigs of growth and many trees have blossomed into full flower with beautiful oversized bouquets of white, pink, red, and fuschia. There are jonquils and daffodils blooming in neighborhood flowerbeds, and forsythia ("yellowbell") bushes blazing with torches of golden, botanical "flames." The small embankment visible outside our kitchen window is a sea of purple — small stalks of grape hyacinths peeking up through the grass along with dozens of dark purple violets accented here-and-there with a paler-purple violet. In fact, it was so comfortable outside last night in the mid-50s that I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It is nice to have some spring in my step again... © 2007 FairyWoman.com DESERVEDNESS • 03-31-2007 My husband frequently asks me for backrubs or footrubs. All the countless times he has asked for such since I've known him, I've always obliged and never turned him down no matter how tired I am. I do those things for him out of love. He marvels sometimes at how I never ask for those same things. He is right — I can count on one hand the times I have requested something of this nature. He has questioned, rather insistently, a time or two as to why I don't ask, but I have been too embarrassed to tell him the real reason so I mumbled something vague. There are times when I feel guilty in asking. If I know that he had a hard day at work, that he is tired, or that something is on his mind, I do not want to add to his troubles by being a burden on him. On those occasions when my muscles are so stiff that I can barely move, I have to ask and deal with feelings of guilt because of having to ask. But that still isn't the big reason. *sigh* The truth is that I feel that I do not deserve to be pampered. My feelings of self-esteem are much better than they were several years ago, but I still do not feel worthy of being pampered most of the time. I am really not sure why I feel that way; it is something I've pondered many times in my life, but cannot solve. During my childhood, I was taught to take care of others before tending to my own needs, same as most other girls raised in the "Deep South." Perhaps that is part of it. It just feels wrong and embarrassing, somehow, for him to be expending any energy on me — physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, or sexually. It feels especially wrong if he expends energy on me before his own needs have been fulfilled, but I also feel remiss in asking even if his needs have already been satisfied. It isn't just him — is the same with others. Any situation where I was the center of attention, whether it is a backrub or a birthday party thrown in my honor, has been a source of embarrassment. I never felt worthy of such attention by others. I was raised to be self-sufficient. If I want something to drink, I was taught to get it myself rather than asking someone else to bring it to me. Even if someone else is going to the kitchen, anyway, and offers to bring something back for me, it is almost impossible for me to accept without making a trip to the kitchen myself. Even returning home from surgery at the hospital several years ago, with doctor's orders to rest, I honestly did not feel like I deserved to be served by others — even then — and felt pangs of shame and embarrassment at having to have glasses of water and blankets brought to me. Even when a guest at someone's house, it is difficult and uncomfortable for me to just sit and be served. I often find myself in the kitchen with the hostess, assisting with the preparations and then cleaning up afterwards. Vacations are never really "vacations" for me, because I am always busy fixing food and drink for everyone else, cleaning the kitchen afterwards, picking up the odd glassware that my companions leave everywhere, picking up the pile of newspapers left on the floor, and so forth. I don't necessarily like doing all that work all the time with no break and no end in sight — it is maddening — but I just do not feel worthy of simply lounging-around creating a mess like everyone else. Besides, I hate "things out of place" and when nobody else makes a move to put things back, I tend to feel that it is my "responsibility" to take up the slack, somehow. Perhaps doing all that work and concentrating on everyones' comfort is my way of making myself feel more deserving of things. If I do housework, then perhaps I have earned a right to take up space with my things, the right to sit and sleep there. If I assist in preparing the food and cleaning up afterwards, then perhaps I have somehow earned my right to eat, perhaps I have somehow earned my right to join the others for a bit, to sit beside them and pretend that I am a worthwhile person like they are. Perhaps one day, I will feel deserving. I'm working on it. Until then, I will glady accept the footrubs and backrubs he offers, but it remains hard as hell for me to ask for them. © 2007 FairyWoman.com ALY! LAPTOP! YAY! • 03-25-2007 My friend Aly is here and we are having fun! She is as addicted to the Internet as I am. Both of us belong to several online communities and we both enjoy posting and reading blogs, perusing photos and artwork online, reading news, and so forth. My husband's laptop computer crashed a while back, so I retrieved my main computer from the apartment so that we could be online while we worked on fixing the laptop. The progress on the work has been slow because he did not want to lose any more of his data than absolutely necessary. However, with two women here with an Internet addiction instead of just one, Don gave me permission to go full-steam ahead in fixing the laptop so we could have two computers working. At the moment, we do not have a router, though, so only one of the computers can be online at any given moment. However, his son Steve has a spare router that we can have. I hope he sends it soon! In the meantime, at least the laptop will be available for playing with graphics, writing blogs to transfer via diskette, and so forth! © 2007 FairyWoman.com SPARE BEDROOM • 03-23-2007 My friend Aly is coming for a visit, so that gave me the perfect excuse/reason/motivation to get the spare bedroom set up. The spare bedroom was actually used as a bedroom several years ago when one of Don's sons still lived with him, but turned into a storage room once the son flew the nest. Many of the items belong to his son, packed away in boxes which might be retrieved at a later date or abandoned forever. So, I have spent the past several days doing physical labor, most of it on my feet. I lugged his son's boxes off to the attic and other places that are now truly designated for "storage." I dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed, mopped, and moved furniture. Like most houses, there is never "enough" closet space where one needs it. Also, this house was built back in the days when people folded clothes and packed them away in drawers moreso than we do nowadays, so the one closet in the bedroom is pretty much only large enough for his clothes, but not mine as well. I had been making-do with a small closet in the hallway, but opening up this spare bedroom for daily use has given me the gift of a decent sized walk-in closet in addition to a nice little bedroom where overnight guests can stay! It also gives me a place to leave my sewing maching set up so that it is always ready for use at a moment's notice! Whoo hooo! The sewing machine is very special, by the way. Although it pales in comparison to some of the fancy-schmancy machines available today, it belonged to my mother. She told me several years ago that she seldom uses it any more and asked me if I wanted it. I jumped at the chance to have her old machine! One of these days, I will move the rest of my furniture out of storage and gather the last of my things left at the apartment in Johnson City. Then I can really make that spare bedroom look like I want it to, with one of the sets of bedroom furniture that I slept on as a little girl — a four-poster bed (with beautifully-turned posts), a matching chest-of-drawers, a matching desk (which my mother swears is supposed to be a vanity, but it is a large, desk-sized piece), and a dresser (that didn't come with the original set, but Toni hand-finished to match the other pieces). © 2007 FairyWoman.com BROWLINE • 03-22-2007 Over the years, I've tackled most personal grooming chores with full aplomb. Except one — my browline. Using one of those teeny little brow-and-lash combs with a small pair of scissors to trim the brow hairs is easy. It is the actual shaping of the browline that has always seemed daunting to me. Being that I am currently trying to save money, however, I decided to finally try it myself instead of paying someone else $10 to do it. I went slowly and carefully, trimming and plucking just a little bit each time over the course of three days (so I didn't do too much at once and regret it later) and voilà — my browline looks great! I am so thrilled! DISCLAIMER: Browline depicted at right isn't mine. It's just a stock photography image that looks cool with this blog entry. Model may appear prettier than this writer does. © 2007 FairyWoman.com MAKING A DIFFERENCE • 03-20-2007    The following was posted in a bulletin on    MySpace by DJ R-Fresh (who, by the way is    one cool dude  and sexy, too ). Since    I wanted to keep it close-at-hand, I made    the decision to repost it here.    --- "The spiritual life is a call to action. But it is a call to ... action without any selfish attachment to the results." -Eknath Easwaran Many of us feel deeply that we want to make a difference — we want our lives to mean something in the bigger scheme of life. While this is a noble motive, we might want to explore what lies at its root. Does the drive to make a difference arise from ego's need to feel worthy? If my ego is not convinced that I matter, I may want visible proof that I do by making some kind of impact on life. Soul doesn't need proof that it's worthy. Soul thrives in being awake and connected. Perhaps if we let go of the pressure we feel from our ego's need to be recognized, we will be more open and able to simply live soulfully. And by doing that, we WILL make a difference! "A person's worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having." -Alice Mary Hilton © 2007 FairyWoman.com LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL • 03-07-2007 POOR, MISGUIDED WOMEN • 03-02-2007 Over the years, I've heard a lot of women say they have the sweetest man on earth. Poor, misguided women — I have him!         © 2007 FairyWoman.com LIVING TO ONE'S OWN EXPECTATIONS • 02-24-2007 A woman I know on Tribe.net occasionally posts questions in her blog that she hopes others will answer via comments. She recently asked this question: "For those who decide to show their "true colors" more times than not, was there a turning point in your life, an event or a determination that made you decide to be more authentic in this society?" My response to her question was: I came to realize, over time, that I could not please everyone around me, that it was impossible for me to live-up to the expectations of others. That is when I started being true to my own expectations, my own desires, rather than what my parents or friends wanted me to be. It was then that I learned the joy at being able to laugh at oneself, one's own foibles and shortcomings, and my "true self" began to shine through more often. © 2007 FairyWoman.com MOBILE AGAIN! • 02-23-2007 I got my car back! Yay! The repair bill only came to $90.95, which was much less than either of us imagined it would be. That included two belts for the car, topping-off the small bit of coolant that had boiled out of the radiator, recharging the battery, changing the oil, and the labor involved. About halfway home, we had to stop for a red light and one of the belts squealed very loudly for a little ways down the road after the light had turned green; perhaps it was just the new belt settling into place. If it does that again, I think I will call the mechanic and report it. Otherwise, though, the little car ran very nicely! It feels good to have the option of mobility again! © 2007 FairyWoman.com ISN'T THIS BLISS? • 02-22-2007            darkness consoles me            sparkly things excite            hair flies wildly            trance into the night            ankle bells jingle            full skirts aswirl            drum beats pound            prayer flags unfurl            dance in shadows            dance under moon            dance through dawn            dance until noon            beads count mantras            deep within my soul            healing sounds emanate            from singing bowl            smoke from incense            candle flames kiss            dreams on horizon            isn't this bliss? © 2007 FairyWoman.com PETAL TO THE METAL • 02-21-2007 I had my poor little sick car towed to the mechanic who agreed to look at it. He confirmed that the problem was a broken belt — the one that runs the water pump and alternator — that caused the problem. He said that another belt was pretty worn, too, so he replaced that one while he was at it. There were no signs of any damage to the engine because of the overheating ~Yay!~, and he applauded me for pulling off the road until it cooled down each time the engine started getting hot. The battery had run down pretty badly, too, and so he re-charged it and said it was holding the charge with no trouble. While he had the car, I asked him if he could go ahead and change the oil, so that is taken care of as well. He had not calculated the bill yet when I talked to him, so I am not sure at this point how much the repairs will cost. So, my little car is fixed and ready to roll...! I just need to work out a ride over there in the next day or two and hope the bill isn't very expensive! ~Yay!~ © 2007 FairyWoman.com IS SPRING HERE YET...? • 02-17-2007 This should have been my week to stay away from automobiles. Did I...? No... Third Saturday of the month = another Drum Circle. I wanted to go, but my car was on the fritz (see last blog entry). My dear Friend-Sister-Goddess, Atty, wanted me there, too, and said she didn't mind coming to get me. A few hours before she was due to arrive, the teeniest little flakes of snow started falling, but the accumulation wasn't much and the roads seemed to be staying clear. When she picked me up, she said that another vehicle slid on the pavement and came close to hitting her, but that seemed to be an isolated incident. We didn't really have any trouble along the way until we arrived at the spot where she was almost hit and noticed traffic backed up at the scene of an accident. Somebody finally got creamed at that very spot! Still very much wanting to expend our Goddess-energy on the drums — and, after all, it was the very day of the New Moon in Pisces — we took an alternate route towards our destination. We got within a mile-and-a-half of the site designated for the drumming when we saw three or four vehicles stopped on a hill ahead of us. Apparently the lead car began sliding and the others behind, including us, were forced to stop. Normally when that happens, it is relatively easy to avoid trouble by simply reducing speed and creeping along at a huge distance from the car ahead of you. We ended up having to stop anyway, darn it, and then — you guessed it — had trouble restarting our climb up the hill when the cars finally moved. Two vehicles ahead of us pulled off the road into a driveway, but there wasn't enough room for us to do the same. So, we ended up having to pull off into the ditch. Literally. For the second time in as many days, I called my husband to come to my rescue. He was just getting off work and had already planned to catch up with us, so he came to where we were stranded. We transferred the drums from Atty's car to his, and two cold women climbed into his warm car. When we got to the drumming site, there was another person there (Dave H.), despite the bad weather! After a brief conference, we decided that all of us needed to get something to eat, so we zipped over to a little Cajun restaurant about a half-mile away and had dinner. After we had eaten, we noticed that the road seemed considerably less icy because the salt trucks had come through and the regular traffic had added a smidgen of heat to the pavement. So, we decided to return to the spot where Atty's car was in the ditch and see if we could get it out. With four people now instead of three to work on it, we managed to get it out of the ditch! Yay! We went back to the designated drumming spot and had a lovely couple of hours drumming under an occluded, but still potent, New Moon. New Moon, new beginnings.   the snow is falling to the ground, the cold wind is a bitch... and getting tribal with our drums beats sitting in a ditch! © 2007 FairyWoman.com TWO HOURS, 22 MILES • 02-15-2007 It took me a couple of hours to drive 22 miles tonight. It's just my luck to have car trouble on one of the coldest nights we've had so far this year. While driving, I heard a strange noise that sounded almost like I had run over some brush that had been trimmed from a small tree or a hedge, like very small limbs brushing against the underside of the car. I thought it odd, but figured there might actually have been a couple of very small tree limbs that I had run over in the dark. Not long afterwards, my "Check Battery" light came on, so I figured I needed to check the fluid level in my battery. The car was still running fine, though, so I kept driving. Next thing I knew, the "Temperature" gauge started climbing and was near the top of the "H" zone. So, I pulled off into a parking lot, raised the hood of the car, and sat inside for 15-20 minutes until the engine cooled off. I was out in the middle of nowhere with no gas stations nearby. Even if I had been at a gas station, though, I knew that cold water might crack the hot engine block, so I figured I would let it cool-down with the night air, and then try it again. I'm not a mechanic, but I am a somewhat logically-thinking geek girl most of the time... Once the engine cooled, I shut the hood and got a mile or two up the road as the engine temperature climbed again. I stopped in another parking lot, raised the hood, and let it cool down. I kept repeating that process until I finally got home safely. The heater wasn't working at all though — it was blowing COLD air out the vents, so I was pretty darned chilled. Is it possible that one of the belts on the engine is attached to both the alternator *AND* the water pump...??? If so, that would explain the battery light and the car running hot at the same time, not to mention the noise I heard. Again, I am not a mechanic, just a geekette with her thinking cap on... My husband, gallantly, tried to come to my rescue, but we got our wires crossed in the phone conversations about where I was at each stop, and he ended up a few miles down the road from me at all times. He even grabbed a handful of cookies on his way out the door because he knew I would probably be cold and hungry out there. Damn, what a man! He knows of a mechanic here in town that might fix it cheaply — his sister has used the guy's services several times. So, please keep your fingers crossed that it isn't an expensive repair. Still being between jobs, I can't afford a big repair bill. Ack. Sheesh. © 2007 FairyWoman.com * Comment from Mike            Sounds like your serpentine belt shredded and thats what you would have heard            brushing along under the car. Without that your alternator will not be able to            charge the battery. Im not entirely sure if that is conected to the water pump            though. it probably is...I would check the radiator levels and make sure that the            belt when it came off did not knock your radiator overflow hose out of the overflow            resevoior.. I know from personal exp that a serpentine belt will cost your from            $35.00 to $105.00 depending on your vehicle. They are not too hard to put on,            but sometimes you need a special tentioner tool to get the belt tension loose enough            to get the belt in place. Then I would take a close look at the radiator overflow            tank and just make sure that is ok. Your lucky you made it home on the battery with            all that starting and stopping....Im glad you made it home safely! * Comment from KittyGirl            Thanks for posting your opinion on the car, Mike! That makes me feel much better            knowing that the problem is likely as simple as a belt instead of something much            worse! If the weather warms up in the next couple of days, I will check those fluid            levels — until then, the car sits! Thanks! MIND ~ HEART ~ BEING • 02-13-2007 "When mind knows, we call it knowledge. When heart knows, we call it love. And when being knows, we call it meditation." -Osho, from "The Book of Understanding" © 2007 FairyWoman.com AZAM ALI • 02-12-2007 I discovered the most amazing music — a woman named Azam Ali. She was born in Iran, but her family lived in India until she was a teenager. After moving to the United States, she pursued a musical career. Her style is Middle Eastern, with rhythms built from tabla, santour, and other Middle Eastern instruments. Some of her lyrics are sung in English, but some are in tongues I do not know — Farsi, perhaps, or Hindi...? Even though I do not understand the lyrics, the music itself is timeless in nature, part spiritual in sound, part sensuous, all rich and full. Her voice is amazing. Check it out! www.AzamAliMusic.com © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Daiva Nati            I love it! I've been listening to the streaming songs all morning from her website.            It's BEAUTY.FULL! Thank YOU!       * Comment from KittyGirl            Her voice is quite haunting and amazing -- I am glad that you're hooked on her            groove now, too! ICEPICK HEADACHES • 02-07-2007 The past few days, I have noticed an increase in headaches. Headches-from-hell. They began when I got sick with the flu recently, and haven't subsided even though the other flu symptoms have gone away. They are what I've always called "Icepick Headaches," where it feels like an icepick has been jabbed through my right eye and the point has come out the back of my head. One of my doctors confirmed 15 or 20 years ago that those are, indeed, a mild type of migraine. Oh, I've had my share of full-blown migraines, too, where the least bit of light or noise is intolerable, but light doesn't bother me with these "icepick" headaches. They're still the "headaches-from-hell," though. About eight years ago, these headaches virtually went away and I would only get one on the rarest of occasions. So, I am not sure why they have returned. I don't know if it is residual sinus pressure from the last remnants of this flu, if it is a result of the heavy stresses I am under at the moment in various areas of life, or whether it is something else. Only time will tell, I suppose. Thankfully, I have a man that is wonderful and understanding and he is taking good care of me. © 2007 FairyWoman.com CHAT, OR NOTHING...? • 02-06-2007 So, a guy on one of the community sites to which I belong — and with whom I've never had any previous interaction — sends me an email. The entire text of it simply says, "It would be very nice if i can chat with you." I respond to him immediately, no hesitation, and indicate sweetly that I really don't do much "chatting" online, per se, but if he would like to exchange a few emails, that is fine with me. I thought that was a generous offer, especially considering that he didn't mention any particular agenda in his email. I don't hear any more from him. Nothing. Nada. This has happened several times, not just once or twice. I am sure he must have just hit my profile from the "See Who is Online" listing and cast his line in my direction. He probably never read my profile or blog, looked at my photos, or stalked my posts. The big question remains, though: what is going on with guys that if they can't get you into an IM-program or a Chat Room, they're suddenly not interested? I honestly don't understand that nuance! Not that it really matters, I suppose, because I am happily embroiled in a long-term relationship with a wonderful man. Still, it would be interesting to know what goes on in the heads of some men, that it is "chat-or-nothing, babes!" © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from FlyingCat            Sheesh, no one pervs me...or leaves me messages to IM or chat or nuthin. Crud.       * Comment from KittyGirl            I'll perve ya, darlin', if it will make you feel better!       * Comment from Mike            Well, I dont know if this helps a lot, but from what I have seen in various chat            rooms and such, a lot of the average males (and by that I mean the average            perverts...LOL) Seem to think that if they can get a woman to chat with them, that            the woman will talk dirty to them and they can get off. A lot of times, I see these            loosers treating women with no respect at all ecept for what they can get out of any            conversation. I'd like to say that most of the time these are 14-year-old boys, but            unfortunately it is often adults as well. I dont understand the mindset behind a lot            of these guys It just doesnt make a lot of sence to me... But I guess I was raised            with the mindset that you treat people the way you want to be treated...            I mean it is one thing to see a really nice looking woman and let her know that            you apreciate what you see. (wink ) Quite another to just want to get your rocks            off with no intrest what so ever in the person other than how fast they can type. I            hope that does not offend anyone, Its just what I have seen a lot of back when I used            to waste my time actually trying to talk to people in the chat rooms lol!.       * Comment from KittyGirl            Ah! That makes a bit more sense now that you have explained it. Thank you for            the insight into the male mind, Mike! I am so glad all guys aren't that way!            Thank you for the "wink," too... IN A TREE... • 02-05-2007 So, I was sitting in a tree, writing in a notebook my plans for the upcoming Solstice ritual. Dreams are so weird. It isn't close to Solstice yet. Or even Equinox for that matter. ...and I doubt I would have actually climbed a tree while wearing a skirt. ...and I have no clue how that small cardboard box got up there with me. Perhaps I dreamed of that because I want *so much* for spring to be here already, although spring will be heralded by an Equinox, not a Solstice. Sheesh. My dreams are weird. Like me. © 2007 FairyWoman.com * Comment from Jason            I think we are ALL ready for spring! Bliss! * Comment from Tamoura            Perhaps your dream recommends taking extra consideration for the coming Earth's            cycles and ponder their meaning in your own life. Summer's coming! * Comment from KittyGirl            Thank you, both, for your encouragement! Tamoura, you give sound advice. Thank you, Sister! * Comment from FlyingCat            Sounds like a good dream...kind of how Alice's dream began. You know the one where            she was sitting in a tree or was it under a tree and then she fell down a rabbit            hole into some CRAZY place where there was no time to say 'Hello - Goodbye'            "...dreams are weird..."   Yeah they are. xoxo * Comment from KittyGirl            ooooooh...! Tea Party...! C-C-C-COLD... BRRRRR... • 02-03-2007 Whatever sickness I had has mostly gone away. There is a lingering "bad taste" in my mouth that will not go away regardless of how much toothpaste or mouthwash I use — I think it might be related to the sinus drainage. Yuk. I've also had the sinus "headache-from-hell" the past two days and it won't go away. However, the body aches have disappeared as has the sore throat, runny nose, and fever. Plus, my sense-of-taste returned today and I can actually taste food again! Yay! We are now bracing for some cold weather over the next few days. The temperatures are supposed to be in the teens tonight with wind-chills around zero degrees (Fahrenheit). Tomorrow's low is supposed to be around zero degrees with a wind-chill of MINUS THIRTEEN degrees. I soooooooooooo want spring to be here already! *cries* © 2007 FairyWoman.com DEATH-WARMED-OVER • 01-30-2007 That's how I feel right now, like "death-warmed-over" as the old saying goes. The all-over body aches are worse, to the point where it is actually painful to walk to the other room. Motrin® seems to take the edge off the aches, though. Doesn't make 'em go away, but takes the edge off. This afternoon, the runny nose started, and the sore throat is still there. I can't sleep more than two or three hours at a time because I wake up with difficulty breathing because of the head congestion. It has been so long since I've been sick like this, I had forgotten how miserable it can make one feel. The last time I bought groceries, I got myself a treat that I seldom buy — ice cream. Thankfully, there was one bowlful left and I dug into it just a few minutes ago. It made me feel better, being all gooey and wonderfully-cool against my sore throat, but now it's gone. At least I still have my hot coffee — that helps tremendously! And thank goodness that I take care of myself most of the time so I don't get sick like this often! © 2007 FairyWoman.com BACKDOOR DELIVERIES WANTED • 01-29-2007 I try to eat properly most of the time, get enough sleep, and wash my hands a lot. So, I was a little surprised when I got sick yesterday. It has been about four years since I had a simple "cold" and about eight years since I've had flu symptoms. This feels like "flu" because every joint and muscle in my body aches, plus I have a low-grade fever, a sore throat, head congestion, and that weird "swimmy-headed" feeling. I've only been able to sleep from two to five hours before I wake up aching so badly I cannot get comfortable in the bed. My "husband" (see previous blog entry) got it first — several days ago, He complained of a sore throat, that "swimmy-headed" feeling, and then a *nasty* cough developed. I've tried to "keep my distance" for the most part and wash my hands a lot, but it is difficult when you're both touching the same faucet handles, door knobs, and sharing the same bed. I will leave the backdoor unlocked in case anyone wants to bring some hot soup. © 2007 FairyWoman.com THAT MAN O' MINE • 01-27-2007 "Boyfriend" sounds like we're back in high school. "Lover" sounds boastful and pretentious. "Partner" sounds like we're reading the script of a spaghetti-Western. Or perhaps shaking hands in the boardroom. What the heck do we call each other at our ages...?!?!? When a man came to fix the heat pump last week, I answered the door and showed the gentleman to the equipment. As he began work, he asked a question that I could not answer, so I said, "Let me go get my husband to help you." It was quick and easy to say "husband" and be on with the errand. The word also quite accurately describes the depth and dynamics of my relationship with my wonderful man, even if such isn't inscribed on a legal document. It was also a helluva lot better than saying, "Let me get my boyfriend with whom I am happily living in sin." In fact, He has done it, too. He was on the phone with someone the other day and said, "If I'm not here, just ask my wife about it." I am sure I was grinning from ear-to-ear as he said that. If you are diabetic, it might be best for you to cease reading *now* before I release my sappy, sweet *happy sigh* © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Ivy            I've had that same problem - what to call him? I'm glad "husband" fits for you two. I still            need a good term for my guy. Maybe we should start a naming campaign.       * Comment from Renée            Awwww — I need an insulin shot. That is really sweet. Call each other whatever is            comfortable. This girl thinks you should do that. THE TAO OF BLOGGING • 01-24-2007 Yin in, Yang out ~ Thoughts in, Words out ~ It is best when it flows smoothly Like a river ~ © 2007 FairyWoman.com SOUND? Ahhhhhhh, SLEEP! • 01-23-2007 I sleep so much better when he is beside me, touching me in some way. It doesn't have to be anything specific, like his hand around my waist or even full-body-contact spooning. Just the least little touch will do, like my foot against his leg, or his hand on my arm. Then, I feel truly sheltered, truly peaceful. Sometimes I would like to curl up next to him, go to sleep, and never wake up again. © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Glimmer            Oh yes, the cuddling, the snuggling — charmed hours. I refuse to live in linear time,            and he seems to like that.       * Comment from Rich            Believe it or not, I have yet to find a woman who enjoys it in this 21st century....            A sad commentary on whatever you wish to append here....                  * Comment from FlyingCat            To Spoon...            Eternal Rocking            she lies in the dark, on her left side, naked...            he lies in the dark, on his left side, naked...            as his arms wrap around her body...            her left cheek gently rubs the soft inside of his left upper arm...            left hand on right breast...            right hand on left breast...            he pulls her tight against his chest...            she breathes in deep the scent of them...            her heart beat quickens at the memory of his demands...            eyes closed, she rests her hands over his...            her breathing slows along with her pulse...            he moves slightly to get comfortable and slowly begins to gently rock...            © 2006 FlyingCat       * Comment from KittyGirl            GLIMMER: "charmed hours" -- a beautiful & succinct description!            RICH: keep lookin' — we are here!            FlyingCat: that is a lovely poem! thank you for sharing it! accL • 01-22-2007 Why do some pimple dis tort da world dis tress da innocence dis emobody da truth dis cord da chords dis associate da meaning symbols crash cacophony ensues your dis sonance shall haunt you paint the walls dark paint with the blood darkening shades becoming blind cut yourself off lie in the dark you won't know what hit you, sucker you dis sed yourself © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Casual            u gots teh spine... u gots teh orange crush!!!       * Comment from Glimmer            Perhaps you might come join us in the poetry forums? You write very, very well.            It would be good to see you there.       * Comment from KittyGirl            CASUAL: I so <3 you            GLIMMER: I did post in the poetry forums once upon a time. Even when I used perfect meter,            rhyme, and style (as opposed to the above "free verse" form), my work was not generally            appreciated. Perhaps my subject matter or imagery was too avante guard, or my lack of formal            literary training prevented my acceptance. Thank you for your kind words, though! SWIPED FROM JG's BLOG • 01-21-2007 A is for age: 51 B is for favorite berry: blueberry C is for career right now: unemployed and job-searching D is for your dog's name: no dog at present E is for essential item you use everyday: lip balm F is for favorite TV show at the moment: I don't watch television G is for favorite game: MahJongg, a couple of times a year H is for Home town: (omitted for sake of online safety) I is for instruments you play: drums J is for favorite juice: Grape-Cranberry juice K is for kids: yes, one! L is for last place you ate: at the computer M is for marriage: been there, done that, got the t-shirt N is for your name: (omitted for sake of online safety) O is for overnight hospital stays: yes, twice P is for phobias: Wasn't he in a Greek tragedy? Q is for quote: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is                         invisible to the eye." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, from the book The Little Prince R is for Religion: no, thank you, get away from me S is for status: domestic partnership T is for time you wake up: it varies from day-to-day U is for underwear: cotton, usually; various brands: Olga, Warner's, St.Eve, etc. V is for vegetable you love: I like all veggies! Yum! W is for worst habit: Procrastination — although I did fill this out X is for x-rays you've had: chest, abdomen, knee Y is for yummy food you ate today: leftover Chicken Fajitas Z is for zodiac sign: Virgo © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Nicola            I am a Virgo too! You know I am soooo stealing this for my own blog! MINIMALISM • 01-16-2007         © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Nicola                  * Comment from Glimmer            An artist, a writer, after my own heart. Ah, finally ... folks who understand women like me.            (And it is art — no one best dare tell you otherwise! )       * Comment from Eve            Hahaha, I wished I would have thought of that.       * Comment from FlyingCat            Less is More!       * Comment from KittyGirl            TWO THINGS • 01-15-2007 Two Names You Go By: 1. Kitty 2. Tiffy Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now: 1. black skirt 2. black top Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship: 1. respect 2. trust Two of Your Favorite Hobbies: 1. beading 2. drumming Two things You Want Really Badly At The Moment: 1. a neck/shoulder rub 2. money, dammit Two pets you have: 1. I am my own pet 2. my stuffed animals Two people who will fill this out: 1. Marcie *wink,wink* 2. Amy *nudge,nudge* Two things you did last night: 1. yoga 2. made a pie Two things you ate today: 1. yogurt 2. potato salad Two Things You're doing tomorrow? 1. cooking 2. mailing resumes Two favorite non-Alcoholic beverages: 1. coffee 2. more coffee Two Things You Can't Live Without: 1. drumming 2. spirituality © 2007 FairyWoman.com SOMETIMES, I WONDER... • 01-14-2007 Sometimes, I wonder what it is that he sees in me. This is NOT a "pity party," by the way — I swear, I am being VERY  honest here. Everyone has issues of some sort. Anyone who says they don't is either delusional or less-than-honest. But come on, there are issues and then there are ISSUES. I can't help but wonder, too, how all of his "ex"es happened to not be here now. Are they blind? How could they have known this man — this thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive, sexy man — and not be here now? And what in the hell have I ever done to deserve someone as compassionate and loving as he is? I am mystified. Seriously mystified. © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from ???            "What he sees?" He is lucky to see you. Or fortunate I should say... Enjoy while it is here,            good times have a habit of passing...       * Comment from Rich            In each and every communication I have seen you make — whether with me or anyone            else — I have seen a sweet, loving, caring, respectful person. If that is not enough of a            reason for anyone to deserve the same in return, I don't know what is....       * Comment from Marcie            He sees what we all see when we look at the kitty —           Beauty, Intelligence, Compassion and Grace.       * Comment from Ivyhair            What Marcie said!!       * Comment from Belle            Yanno, I often ask myself the same question... what the hell does he see in me            that makes it all worth it? I know what I see in him...       * Comment from Debra            You said, "I am mystified. Seriously mystified." Perhaps that is what keeps the magic            alive each and every day. And maybe, just maybe... he's feeling the same thing.            Sometimes we shouldn't question fate.       * Comment from Frank            I second the motion — he sees what we all see when we look at the kitty — Beauty,            Intelligence, Compassion and Grace. Knowing the two of you I would say you both            have found something very rare — a perfect match. Some search an entire lifetime and            never come close, and then some of us do. Enjoy every minute. It can be ever so magical.            *smiles & hugs*       * Comment from N_G            He sees your beauty.       * Comment from KittyGirl            You have all given me things to consider. Thank you! I appreciate all the comments! PAPERCUTS AND PAPERWHITES • 01-13-2007 The Chapstick® did wonders on my hands. Just overnight, the small papercut-like breaks in the skin hardly hurt any more, and in just another day or two they will be virtually healed. I tend to heal rather quickly, at least from physical wounds. Of course, there is another Drum Circle this coming weekend. Yay! The Chapstick® will come in handy again. I am so anxious for spring to arrive and the weather to be warmer. Until then, I await in the darkness like a bulb hibernating in the earth, ready to bloom when it is time. © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Belle            Drum Circle? What kind of drum circle? I am trying to learn various rhythms on the doumbek...       * Comment from Rich            Drum circles can be such a moving event. Both physically and spiritually. It's great that            you have found that outlet for your inner self. And I will remember that tip about the            chapstick — I didn't know about that use for it. Thanks!       * Comment from KittyGirl            to BELLE: Doumbek? Cool! I have one of those, but drum more with my djembes than            anything! The Drum Circles I attend are just informal gatherings of amateur dummers            from all walks of life. Most of the people come for the fun and stress-relief it brings.            For some others of us, it is a more primal celebration of life, almost a spiritual thing.            Good luck with your doumbek rhythms!            to RICH: Yes, I am happy that I found this outlet, too! I stumbled onto drumming, quite            by accident, several years ago and haven't stopped since! I have mentioned drumming &            drums in my blog several times, but doubt I've ever really convered the "how" and "why"            of it. Perhaps I will blog about that sometime. MOUNTAINS OF CHAPSTICK • 01-12-2007 Damned cold weather. My hands were already slightly chapped from the weather we've been having, so the drumming tonight took its toll. The building in which we drummed was cold because the heat had been off all day since nobody was meeting there. The keyholders were both late, so the Coyote and the Kitty had to wait out in the cold until the keys arrived. Even after the heat had been on for a bit and our hands had been busy thrumming on the drum heads for a couple of hours, my fingers were still like icecubes. So, right now I am nursing the cracks in my skin with Chapstick®. That is the fastest way to heal the cracks, trust me. It's times like these when I miss the weather we had those few years when I lived in Florida. Right before I moved from the mountains to Florida, my friend Jessica told me, "You'll be back. Once these mountains gets in your blood, you'll never be away from them long." She was right, because here I am again. At least now I am living at a lower elevation than when I was in these mountains previously, and that means slightly warmer temperatures. I remember several winters when we had -20°F temperatures with -40°F wind-chills, and that was in the mountains of western North Carolina; I can't even imagine what it would be like in North Dakota or Alaska in the dead of winter. Sheesh. Damned cold weather. Those years I lived in Florida, we had anywhere from two weeks to one month of "cold" weather, where the temperatures would be in the 30s or 40s during the day and dip down in the 20s at night. Within the month, it would zip back to the 50s at night and the 60s or 70s during the day. A month after that, we were back to 70s at night and 80s or 90s during the day for the next 10 months until our two-weeks-to-one-month of ~cough~ "winter" hit again. It was awesome. I *thrived* in that weather, let me tell ya! I do miss those milder temperatures very much. But I do have my mountains again. I love these mountains. The Appalachians are some of the oldest mountains in this hemisphere, perhaps the oldest of all in this hemisphere. The Appalachians started out big and tall like the Rockies and Andes, but centuries of wind and rain wore them down to gentle rounded peaks. The highest point east of the Mississippi River is Mt. Mitchell, which is just under 7,000 feet high. That mountain wasn't far from where I used to live. Because of the gentler contours and lower elevations compared to the Rockies and other younger mountains, the Appalachians are *accessible* in almost every way. Myriads of hiking trails, wagon trails, and curvy two-late roads make passage and exploration possible. These mountains are here for us, and we for them. Their elevation makes the weather colder, though, than the flatlands beneath. Damned cold weather. I had better go dab a little more Chapstick® into the cracks that developed in my hands from the drumming tonight. And yes, it was worth it. Drumming is like breathing. Gotta do it. I could give up my mountains before I could give up my drumming. © 2007 FairyWoman.com SYNCHRONICITIES, Part Two • 01-09-2007 Perhaps 20 years ago, a vision of a "net" emerged from my twisted little mind during a meditation. The vision was rather like a fishing net, but not quite so uniform in weave. It was somewhat irregular, with knots in it at various places throughout. In my vision, the net was not stretched tightly, but twisting and dipping here-and-there, rather like a 3D image of a wireframe landscape that you might see on a CAD computer screen, the result of some highly-complex mathematical function (this is similiar to what it looks like in my mind: click here for image). The knots are concentrations of matter and energy while the threads of the net represent electromagnetic/gravitational forces between the knots. In other words, the "net" represents our "reality." As we walk around the net, we sometimes feel a "pull" from some of the knots, urging us to go in one direction or the other; those are the vague "hunches" that we occasionally experience, or imaginings that "the grass is greener" over *there*. Sometimes rather than feeling a "pull" of some sort, though, we are merely walking along a particular thread in order to reach a destination ("goal"). When we reach a knot — an event, a place, or some sort of "connectedness" where two or more threads join — we meet other people, who were also drawn to that same knot at that same moment in time. You are now reading my blog here because at least three "threads" have crossed: (1) we both felt compelled to be on this Web site during the 2006/2007 timeframe, (2) you are a family member or friend, and (3) you were interested enough (or bored enough) to read what I have to say. Therein lies part of the explanation of synchronicity — people who walk common threads have common goals, just like the majority of people walking on a downtown sidewalk on a weekday morning are going to work. ("Wow, you're going to work, too? Gee, so am I!") Yet, in all the hurry-scurry of life, we fail to recognize some of the synchronicities that should be obvious. We are surprised when we find another person who is interested in photography, sewing, or stamp-collecting as we are, yet it stands to reason that there will be many people who share a commonality in some way with us. It's pretty obvious when we stop to think about it, but we rarely *think* about it and then we are amazed by the happenstance. Some synchronicities are not so subtle, however, but they happen in precicely the same way. It all has to do with vibrations. If one jumps up-and-down on the net, it shakes and vibrates. Not only can one send out vibrations, but if one sits very still on the net like a spider, one can feel vibrations coming in from all directions. A spider sitting on its web can feel vibrations because the spider is so very light in weight. Similarly, a lightweight leaf can be easily moved from one location to another by a gentle breeze. When we are light in weight — mentally, emotionally, spiritually — we can also sense vibrations. When we become heavy with emotional, mental, or spiritual "baggage," we are not so sensitive to the vibrations. The gentle breeze that moved the leaf to another location would hardly be felt by a heavy brick-and-steel building. After meeting people at one knot, we sometimes travel together to another knot, sometimes we follow individual "pulls" (or "goals") in different directions. However, once we have met on the net, we then realize we are always "connected" through this net — we feel each others' vibrations, each others' energy. After this image flashed into my mind those many years ago, I have periodically meditated on it since. Later, I learned that several spiritualities and disciplines mention the "Web of Life" in one form or another — Buddhism and witchcraft among them, both of which include me among their ranks — and each have their own way of explaining why it exists. The "why" of it is extremely important, but that is beyond the scope of this blog. It is the ramifications involving synchronicity of which I am mentioning here. As we walk this net/web thing, we are susceptible to our own vibrations. If we walk too heavily, then our steps will shake the very threads on which we are walking. We create our own realities. We craft our own destinies. If we harbor clouds of "doom and despair" over our hearts, that is precicely what we will attract into our lives. If we harbor feelings of "contentment and happiness" in our hearts, that is also precicely what we will attract. We are "drawn" to those events that share the same resonant vibrations as we have, just as we are "drawn" to people that share the same resonant vibrations. This is a very deep subject. I have only skimmed the highlights of it here and probably done a miserable job of it. In fact, looking back over what I have written, I see what looks more like the disjointed, vague, psychotic ramblings of a mad woman. I see many holes, gaps, in what I am trying to say. Then again, that is how the net/web looks — dark goddess-space framed delicately by threads of bright god-space. That visual makes me think of my rendition of the story of the creation of the universe. If interested, you may read it by clicking here... © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Amy            I'll read your allegedly-psychotic ramblings any day.       * Comment from Rich            Au contraire, you have done an excellent job of explaining a very complex subject in a            very easy to understand way. I should know, as I have been teaching such concepts            and other subjects in the Metaphysical Realm from the early 70s to the present day. The            analogy of the web is precise. The common ground of the nodes is just as clear. There            is nothing vague or disjointed here. This is an excellent explication of a subject many            teach — and try to understand — using such complexities that the underlying meaning            goes by the wayside. Be proud of yourself — you have done a wonderful job!       * Comment from KittyGirl            Thank you for your comment, Amy!   Rich, you really flatter me with your words.       * Comment from Dona            Have you ever read Piers Anthony's 'Incarnations of Immortality?'            You would love it, especially the one about fate.            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incarnations_of_Immortality       * Comment from KittyGirl            Dona, I have read some of Piers Anthony's other work, but not "Incarnations of            Immortality." Thanks for the tip!       * Comment from Dona            I read a good portion of his Xanth series until I got a bit bored with it, but totally            enjoyed it. But Incarnations was forced on me in a way. A friend made me SWEAR to            read the series, and he even sent me the first book, 'On A Pale Horse.' I was hooked.            The series is EXCEPTIONAL. I wouldn't hesitate to urge ANYONE to read them.            They're awesome. Oh, and, you're gonna freak out when you get to fate, after what I            read here. *sits on her hands so she stops typing and doesn't give it away* SYNCHRONICITIES, Part One • 01-07-2007 Some thoughts came to me last night regarding synchronicities and how our lives sometimes bloom because of them. Several years ago, I was living in Florida but managed to make friends online with a lovely young woman. Her name is Asilinn and she lives in Alaska — as far away from Florida as one can get and still be in the United States! After a few months of emails, IMs and phone calls, we wanted to meet each other in-person but neither of us could arrange a trip. In Florida, I was sharing a two-bedroom apartment with another woman, Toni. We were on the outskirts of the Orlando metro area and she became increasingly dissatisfied with life in the big city. Several hurricanes ripped through the area during 2004 and caused damage to our apartment building. We knew that was our cue to leave the area. So, we both moved to Tennessee and found a lovely two-bedroom apartment. Not long after I had been here, I met Tiffany at a local Drum Circle. She and I hit it off immediately and have been good friends ever since. A few months later, I met my wonderful boyfriend who lives in the next-town-over from where I moved. Meanwhile, after I was living in Tennessee, Asilinn met another girl online and became fast friends with her. As it happens, she also lives in Tennessee and her name is Marcie. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Marcie lives only two hours away from me! Later, I was able to meet her, and then Asilinn managed to come to Tennessee for a visit with both of us and met my boyfriend and Tiffany, too! While Asilinn was here visiting Marcie and me, other online people came to visit, including Amy. Although I had always enjoyed reading Amy's public posts online, I had never paid attention to her blog. After we met in-person, though, I began reading it regularly and occasionally posting comments to her blog when my musings seemed appropriate. Because of these comments, I was able to get to know another girl online, named Dona. She and I have been emailing rather regularly since then because we found that we have some things in common (both of our men are drummers, both of us use PaintShopPro a lot, etc.). Sometimes it is weird how things come together, no? Yes? ----- KittyGirl's thoughts on how synchronicity happens will be featured in her next blog entry... © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Marcie            *smiles warmly and snuggles my kitty*       * Comment from Asilinn            *jumps on the kitty's lap, managing to slide Marcie away* I saw Teh Kitty first!       * Comment from Amy            Now girls....let's not fight over teh Kitty. We can all share, can't we?       * Comment from Marcie            *looks over at asilinn, pouting* she's MY kitty... well at least parts of her is       * Comment from Asilinn            *smirks at Marcie* I owned allllllll of the Kitty long before you came onto the scene       * Comment from A.F.D.            I am a big believer in synchronicities. Thanks for sharing such a lovely story of friendship.       * Comment from Dona            Synchronicities? The Police! Do I win? *teehee*            I'm so glad we've "met" online and I hope someday to give you a real hug       * Comment from Maureen            What a wonderful blog!!! Friends are wonderful, aren't they? i haven't met Asilinn            in person (yet), but have talked in email and i find her to be fascinating and she            sure has a way with words! COMPASSION, LOVE, PEACE • 01-04-2007 I created the following image with PaintShopPro for a special purpose on another site. It was a Buddhist thing, and served it purpose well. I have now placed it in the Public Domain. If you like it and have any use for it, RIGHT-CLICK and "Save Image As..." to grab it and go. No credits, please, just use it or pass it along as you see fit. Two sizes from which to choose: © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Scarlett            Pretty! RE·CREATION OF THE NIGHT • 01-04-2007 i re·create the night with clouds of curtains to hide the patriarchal sun from view with candles and incense jasmine blooms low-forged from the root of my being where fires burn at the base of spine and subconscious coils like a snake as words of power form and arise from the ashes like the phoenix in arid zonas of my psyche shadows of thoughts shadows of feelings shadows of Being Horus sleeps Netphytys walks not gods, really, but symbols clanging cymbals to keep us a·wake a·wash in wakefulness lest we forget who........... ......we....... ............are three times the bell rings ding............ ......ding...... ............ding and then it is done © 2007 FairyWoman.com * Comment from Dona            I'm speechless — it's beautiful! * Comment from Maureen            This is beautiful!!! Thank you -- i enjoyed reading it * Comment from Cheri            That was breathtaking! I will be back to gaze upon this beauty as a reminder that            the words are out there. * Comment from KittyGirl            Thank you... I'm glad you liked it! SCHULTZE GETS THE BLUES • 01-02-2007 That was the name of the movie we were watching as Baby New Year toddled into the room with his tiny arse showing. ~Schultze Gets the Blues~ Excuse me — "film," not "movie." My bad. Yes, I prefer using the term "film" rather than "movie" for this type of production. This was not the usual sludge of action-packed movie fare made to set box-office records and cater to those with short-attention spans (increasingly prominent in our culture, sadly). Rather, this was an artsy-fartsy, European film that contained a "character study" (one of my favorite things!) of a man in search of a dream — Schultze. Schultze was a man who lived in a small town in Germany all his life, followed the norms of society, worked hard all his life, and then had a revelation after his retirement of marching to the beat of a different drummer. To me, it was a beautiful, slow-paced, entertaining story showing "real" people, in "real-life" situations — things with which we can identify as human beings, rather than vicariously living at some on-the-edge fantasy level. I find stories of that nuture immensely rewarding and special. So, there we were, he and I, snuggled in bed watching Schultze's tale unfold on the screen. Then my watch beeped. Midnight. Yes, I am an incurable geekette, who has a watch that beeps on the hour and does other cool shit, too. I turn over to look at his face, wish him a Happy New Year, steal a kiss, and then turn back to Schultze's life. Our lives, and Schultze's, intertwined, for a few brief moments in time. A cozy, happy New Year, indeed! © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Belle            I have seen the title on cable, but wasnt sure if it was worth the watch. Sounds            like it was, so thanks for the tip!       * Comment from KittyGirl            The film is in German with English subtitles and the pace is slow, but I certainly            found it entertaining. If you see it, let me know your impressions. A BANNER YEAR :::2006::: • 01-01-2007 Two-thousand-six. A banner year for many things... witnessed a deepening of the relationship with the wonderful man I met last year enabled me to meet some online friends brought the loss of one beautiful friend was diagnosed with high cholesterol & high blood-pressure but... changed my diet, started a regular exercise routine, and brought my cholesterol & blood-pressure readings back into a normal range, losing almost 40 pounds in the process began doing a regular yoga routine and I love it & the benefits it has brought to me still looking for a frikking job I would say it has been a pretty good year, all-in-all. I am confident that 2007 will be even better! Shite sometimes happens regardless of what we do, no doubt, but most of the time life is what we make it. We do not travel alone. Many accompany us along the way, offer shoulders on which to cry, or just hold our hands sometimes. I would like to thank the following people in particular for posting comments in my blog during 2006. You gave me support which I so desperately needed (especially during the height of my dieting phase) and reassurances along the way that made life more pleasant and more bearable. in alphabetical order... • Amy • Asilinn • Christopher B. • David • Dona • Dorothy • F.D. • • FeistyChick • Frank • Iris • Jerry • J.G. • Katrina • L235 • Laura • • Marcie • Nicola • Rose • Scarlett • Tammy • V.S. • Whitney • A special "Thank you!" to my sweetheart, Don, for loving me, regardless of my many limitations, idiosyncracies, and foibles, and for being there for me at times when I really needed him. I love you, my Shiva, and my life is so much richer for having you as a part of it! ________________________________________________ T O · A L L · W H O · R E A D · M Y · B L O G : ________________________________________________ © 2007 FairyWoman.com       * Comment from Nicola            Happy Happy New Year my friend to you and Don! May this year continue to bring            you all the love and happiness that you sooooo richly deserve!       * Comment from Rich            After reading through your blog I will simply say this: you are a most real person            and have surrounded yourself with the same. As I scan your list of friends, I can see            that birds of a feather really *do* flock together. You *are* quite Blessed, and            what's more, you seem to know it and give thanks for it. Such real people should            be encouraged to live, love and prosper, truly.... Hence the purpose of this            long winded comment - My stock in trade :-) Have a wonderful year and many more            to come — you deserve it!       * Comment from Amy            Happiest of New Year's to you and Don. Looking forward to seeing you both at the Blast.       * Comment from Debra            *blinks* I'm certainly honored, and wish only the best for you and yours.       * Comment from Scarlett            You are welcome